Beware the Brain-Pickers!

Beware the Brain-Pickers!

I had an experience this morning that I'm sure is familiar to many consultants, coaches, doctors, attorneys ... pretty much anyone who is considered an expert in their business or industry. A friend texted me a few days ago, asking if we could meet soon. She didn't say what about ... but I had a feeling I knew before we got together. My subconscious must really have known, because I forgot to put the meeting on my calendar, and as a result was late to meet her.

We are in similar businesses, but she's very new to this line of work. As I sat down at the restaurant, she explained that she just wanted to "pick my brain" a bit about a couple of things. And then she proceeded to do just that  — not without my permission, I must add. I've been here before on perhaps two other occasions with the same friend, so this whole setup was not really a surprise to me.

One sentence in our conversation caught me quite off-guard, however. She was telling me about her challenges billing a new client, because the client has a limited cash flow right now and wants the work to proceed anyway: "I told her, 'Yes, but I have expenses. I have to do research, meet with people (gesturing to  me), and increase my knowledge so I can give you the best service.'" She did not even see the irony ... or notice my hackles going up.

I was unsure how to proceed. My inclination was just to decline the next offer for a "meeting." But as the check came and I found myself paying for my own breakfast, I knew that silence would not suffice. My friend thanked me for my time, which I used as an appropriate moment to tell her — perhaps a little harshly — that while she was welcome this time, if there was going to be a next time, it would have to be for a fee. A look of utter astonishment washed across her face. I then reminded her that she'd just told me she was charging her client for meeting with me, but seemed to be expecting me to share my expertise with her for free, simply because we're friends.

Those of you who've been there understand how awkward this can be.

The thing is, I bet we've all done it at one time or another, called on a friend for their expert advice. What we may not realize is when we begin to step over the line of "asking a favor" into the area where they normally and reasonably charge for the information we're after. For what it's worth, here are a few tips on this idea of "free advice."

FOR the ASKER

1. NEVER ask someone if you can "pick their brain" (or worse, tell them you'd like to).
2. Respect your friends'/colleagues'/associates' expertise and recognize when your favors are traipsing into areas of information for which they would normally charge a consulting fee.
3. At the VERY least, offer to buy them lunch/dinner for their time. More appropriately, ask if you can schedule an hour of their time (indicating that you will pay for this hour), and let them tell you that you don't need to pay them.

FOR the ASKEE

1. Decide in advance if you're willing to gift certain friends with your time/expert knowledge — and where/why you draw the line. Sure you're a nice person and you don't want to make enemies, but you also don't want to be a doormat.
2. It's your time, and they're your friends — you get to decide whom to help, to what degree, and how often.
3. You might let them know that while you're happy to have one brief conversation, you normally charge a rate of X for a consultation on this topic.
4. Have a standard answer prepared for those who want to "pick your brain."
5. Suggest they call your office during business hours to schedule an appointment.
6. If the "asker" has a product/service you can use, perhaps you might suggest a trade.
7. Even if it's a difficult conversation, be willing to set boundaries.

Here's the thing both "Askers" and "Askees" should remember. Askees have invested time (perhaps many years) and energy and money and brain power becoming the experts they are. They now charge for that expertise, as they should. Askees must learn to set sensible boundaries; Askers must learn to respect them. 
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How Are Your Observation Skills? Six Tips for Improving Them

How Are Your Observation Skills? Six Tips for Improving Them

I just went out to take the recycling bin to the curb for the way-too-early truck that will come rumbling down our street in the morning, and as I headed back to the house, I noticed a small lizard on the window. Haven't seen too many of them this season, but I do love the little guys (and gals). He was noticeable to me because of the backlighting of the dining room window, but it occurred to me that most people would probably have missed him clinging to the screen and then scurrying away as I approached the door.

We've all got special skills - one of mine has always been observation. I'm not really sure why, but it always seemed to bug my sister, niece, and other family members that I was so observant. If someone got a haircut, shaved their mustache, or started wearing glasses, I always noticed. I noticed if the gas tank was full or empty, and where the mail carrier was in the neighborhood as I went by. This skill serves me now, as I spend a lot more time on my bike these days!

It also helps in my work as an editor, because I notice words, phrases, and constructions that others tend to miss. Was listening to an NPR news report yesterday, and the reporter said, "The White House reckons..." OK - I'm not perfect in my observation because I can't recall now what it was the White House reckoned, but I did notice the use of the word reckon because it was so oddly colloquial in this otherwise professional report.

Regardless of your business or industry, I'm willing to bet that stronger observation skills will help you improve your work, too. It will certainly enable you to write with more detail and clarity - e-mail, blogs, memos, eBooks ... you name it. Think about it. Aren't you much more likely to get a helpful response if you change Example A below to become more like Example B?

EXAMPLE A: My manager wanted me to ask you about the shipment.

vs.

EXAMPLE B: Stephanie Jones suggested I contact you to find out the anticipated arrival date for the wireless server we ordered last week.

Sure - it's easy for you. You already said you've got a natural talent for observation. I don't. I honestly wouldn't notice a snake if it were about to bite me!

Well, yes. Some people are not as naturally observant as others. The first thing is that you've got to want to improve your observation skills. Here are a few tips - almost all have to do with a little notion known as practice:

• Be aware of your surroundings and the space you consume within them. At the grocery store, in line at the post office, waiting to return a movie at the dollar-a-day kiosk. Are there others in line with you? Are you crowding them? Are they crowding you? Do you stop at the top of a stairwell when others are coming up behind you? Simply choosing to notice how you use your space will make you a lot more aware of other areas of your life.
• Routinely make eye contact with the people you encounter during your day. Make a mental note about each person. Male or female. Short. Dressed up or casual. Hat or scarf. Ethnicity. Tattoos or piercings. Not that you're practicing to give details to a police sketch artist, but just begin noticing the people around you.
• Don't diss Where Is Waldo? Books like that and card games like Concentration, where the goal is to remember where individual cards are laid out on the table, can be great practice vehicles for growing your observation skills.
• On your way home from work, the market, or any familiar route, make a point every day this week of noticing something you've never seen before. Make and model of a neighbor's car. A flower bed. Toys in a yard. Just open your eyes and start seeing.
• Use all of your senses, not just your eyes. Pay attention to the sounds and smells and textures that surround you. These will help heighten your sense of awareness. Also, use your peripheral vision, rather than focusing only on the things that are immediately in front of you.
• Write it down. Take notes on things that interest you or you would like to remember. Book titles, Web addresses, music. Be open to the world, and if you see something you'd like to know more about, make a note and then do the research.

Work on your powers of observation and you'll be amazed at the return on this simple investment.

This is Day 34 in the 60-Day Content Challenge. I've been posting every day since I accepted the challenge on July 21st. See you tomorrow for the next post! Laura
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Being Too Insider Can Leave Your Clients on the Outside - and Make Them Frustrated, Too

Being Too Insider Can Leave Your Clients on the Outside - and Make Them Frustrated, Too

Though I try not to make a habit of complaining, I was telling my boyfriend just the other day that I find the music reviews in the local alternative paper (Phoenix New Times, an affiliate of Village Voice Media Holdings) impossible to read because they are just too insider. I get the sense that the only people they're really writing for are other music critics. The same often seems to be true of book reviewers and movie critics.

Case in point? This very newspaper's Jan. 7-13, 2010 edition. Its cover story: The YEAR IN FILM. Now, it's not like I'm a Hollywood film junkie. I admit to seeing a fair number of blockbusters ... but I also admit that I've never seen Jaws, and only saw Jurassic Park for the first time on network TV a couple years ago. I have a fairly steady diet of indie fare, even including the occasional foreign (read: subtitled) film. So I don't feel as though I'm exactly living under a movie/film/cinematic rock. Yet, in reading the review of the 10 best films of 2009, I had seen only 2 of them; had the opportunity and desire to see 2 others but simply haven't yet; and hadn't even heard of the other 6.

Their list, in order:

1. The Hurt Locker
2. Police, Adjective
3. Inglourious Basterds
4. The Headless Woman
5. The White Ribbon
6. Hunger
7. Big Fan
8. A Serious Man
9. I'm Gonna Explode
10. Up

Don't even get me started on the Favorite Films of the Decade. There were 9; I've seen 2.

But my point isn't really to rag on the New Times. It's to wonder aloud whether we aren't all guilty of this sometimes: being so insider that we leave our potential audience outside, and quite frustrated as a result. It's actually an easy thing to do. We do what we do every day. We're probably pretty good at it, so it's easy - and normal - for us. We speak the language and understand how it all works. But when the time comes to explain it - whether it be a process, a product, or a service - how well are we able to put the explanation in lay terms so that the client or end-user can actually understand the message we're trying to convey?

The onus of communication is ALWAYS on the communicator, not the communicatee. So are you assuming that the people you're talking with (or writing to) understand you, or do you know for sure? You can start to get a handle on it by listening to the types of questions they're asking. If at any point you find yourself thinking, "I thought everyone knew that" in response to their questions, you may be talking/writing over their heads on more than just that one topic.

Yes, your clients want you to be good at what you do - that's why they've hired you. But if you recognize opportunities to be more inclusive in your language, conversations, or blog posts, it might be in your best interest to take them!
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